Tear of jealousness

The military operation was so strange. The soldiers had done a difficult work. Even though a week was passing from the time of military operation start, no one liked to return to backside of war.

The results were clear. When the fresh powers arrived, the soldiers should have been returned to backside areas for having rest. The military groups were not failed, but tiredness could be seen in them. After that difficult water and earth trainings, and participating in Valfajr 8 military operations, and when many of military soldiers were martyred, the others needed to have fresh spirit. It was not good each of them to stay in there. All of them should go on absence by force.

When the military area was given to new soldiers, I was sending the soldiers group by group towards the back of war environment. I was going to Ali. He was writing in the office of commander. I stood up on the corner of rifle-pit and greeted him. He looked at me and answerers greet. I sat down.

Dear Ali, this war environment is given to new soldiers… I sent the soldiers to be on leave… Don’t you want to go on leave?
He stopped writing for a moment; he looked at me and smiles.
Don’t hurry; hurrying is the work of evil.

He continues to write. I feel sitting is not beneficial. I took off my army boots and went to him and I put my hand on his shoulder. I read his writing. He had written many names respectively. When I look carefully, I can know the names. All names were imaged in front of me. All of them were the names of Martyrs. Martyrs of battalion, I can not bear and I asked:
The last group of children went; don’t you come with me to go?
He puts his pen on paper:
It is finished. I said do not hurry… hurrying…
I cut his speech:
- hurrying is the work of evil…
- So why don’t you become evil? We will go… but…?
He continues his talk by laughing. He was so strong in his talks. I said it is not understandable for me.
But what?
Oh ok now you came to say the reality, we will go on leave… but…?
He puts the list of names for me to see.

Do you know all of them; is it the list of battalion names? He paused and then continues:
We will go on leave, but for seeing the Martyrs' families of battalion … we will go to Zabul. He stands up and went out of rifle-pit. I was surprised after many months in this war environment that he had a strong sound:
Hey God’s man, why don’t you come? Hurry up…
Still we have not found the address; But Mr. Ali urges we must certainly go to see the Martyr’s family. After so much time, we eventually found the address. A few kilometers of Zabul we find a village that a Martyr's family is set in there. From far distance a lovely camp could be seen, in between some trees. The address was true. It was a small camp for a place special for some sheep, and two mud rooms which had a big yard around the green camp could be seen. Near the camp a 12-year-old boy was observed. We braked and stopped the car in there. We say the name of Martyr and ask the address from him, he got so happy and said quickly:

You see me, I am the child of Martyr … my name is Meisam. Then he goes to the camp… after a few minutes he gets out with a woman who has local clothes. He greets us; the woman invited us to go inside the camp. It was simple and beautiful. She brings food for us. The smell of bread was so nice. The picture of Martyr is on a brick on the corner of room which smiles to us. When the woman understands we are soldier-fellow of her husband, he asks about his memories of us, and talks many beautiful things about her husband… It is more than 45 days that her husband is passed away and its time to go. Ali asks cheerfully:

If we can do anything for you please tell us, so we can do for you.
The woman looked at us, brings her two children, Meisam looks at her mom and then looks at us, looks on Mr. Ali and says:
I am sorry it is warm here; do you feel the warm weather?
And the woman continues her talks:
We are used to this warm weather, we are sorry for you…
Mr. Ali a