Lonely

Day after day had passed, Hamid spent time without doing anything on the frontlines. He spent most of the day in the strong hold reading the Koran. Sometimes checking on the group outside of the strong hold. Everyone felt like he was looking for someone. At night time he would go out to the guards, sharing silence of guard dance with them. Among all the settled forces on the peak Mohammed was the closest to him. He spoke to Hamid and found out he is blaming himself all the time for not becoming a martyr. He was in front of enemy forces several times but did not become a martyr, when all of his friends were martyred. Mohammad was trying to convince him that he was wrong and reality was not what he thought. Death is a fact and becoming a martyr is a glory but GOD is the commander. But Hamid kept saying no, no, something is wrong with me for sure and constantly made up excuses this way. But Mohammad kept speaking to him until something came up.
On the other side of Karkook enemy predators, twice martyred our guys. When Hamid heard this he decided to move four guys to the peak and attack the enemy settlements at night. They came back victorious and there was nothing else happening in Doshka for 3 days.
Two weeks later they were victorious in another attack on the enemy. Then he chose 3 of 8 guys to prepared to attack the same artillery they intended to destroy with Karim and Hossein on new years eve, Mohammad was with them too.
On the 40th night his friends attacked the enemy.
Hamid had said before: my friends are waiting for me it had just taken forty nights to pick the right night to attack. They were completely ready. Hamid had intended to keep one artillery staffs alive and fight till death. Now, Mohammad describes that night’s memory:
They planned as enemy's artillery had not dared to sleep for several months. We attacked the enemy at 11 o'clock. We destroyed a 100 of them rather easily. Four guns ran out confused in the beginning moments. But Hamid was shooting was shooting at them without a moments break. As a matter of fact what I was seeing there looked just like a movie. No one, not me nor the others could believe what they were seeing was Hamid. There was just no one there to see their braveries. They also never spoke about their attacks . But it was there where I saw everything. He killed all of them. Then he went to the strong holds and fired at all 3 strong holds with grenades. That's when their oil tank exploded . He then ordered us to move back. We were all amazed at what he was doing. We moved back but Hamid went to the weapons storage. I did not believe he had gone nuts.
I do not know how he managed to blow them all up without getting harmed himself. There was nothing else left for him to destroy. He then joined us but seemed real sad, with a world of depression on him. I was the only one to see him crying in the dark. Moving and keeping his distance from the others. I felt he did not say what he really wanted to, he tried to move his mind on to other things by saying good for you, but it seemed he is not beside me at all, we reached our own position without a word being exchanged between us. Yes Hamid came back to his position sad and depressed. In the morning he said his prayers without wasting any time, he ran to his gun and knapsack and was ready for another day.